


Animate

by thomasjeffersonsmacaroni



Series: The Other 51 [42]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animation, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni/pseuds/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni
Summary: Peggy is an animation student in college.





	Animate

“And that is the true spirit of art. Remember that always.”

The bell rang, intensity sounding throughout the expansive rooms of the college, and the professor cut short his speech instantly.

“Well, see you again on Friday. Class dismissed.”

He paused in thought and watched the students pack up. It was the last class for most of them, and they were more than ready to go home and “study.” From Peggy Schuyler’s college experience, this usually involved opening books for half an hour or so, then instantly picking up the phone and calling friends.

“Ms. Schuyler,” the professor called, cupping a hand over his mouth to be heard throughout the noise of chatter, “you stay.”

Peggy continued putting her books into her backpack, but she left it on her desk as she walked up to the professor. Her desk mate, Ari, gave her an encouraging smile which she did not return.

“Professor Washington?” she asked, walking up to him and fiddling with the belt loop of her jeans. He waited until the classroom was entirely empty before he began speaking.

“Ms. Schuyler. I noticed that you have failed to submit a synopsis for your final project. You do remember that, right? A short film, written and animated entirely by yourself?”

“I do. But the thing is…”

The thing was many things. The thing filled up her brain and her heart and her stomach, bursting it open and filling up the room, crushing what felt like the entire planet under its weight. The thing was a thing of incredible, indescribable proportions, and there was no way she would explain it even to her closest friends, let alone to her animation professor.

“…I’ve been busy in my personal life, and I haven’t really gotten the chance to come up with a good idea that I’d enjoy. I’m sorry, Professor. My creativity hasn’t gotten as much of a chance to develop as I’d have liked it to.”

Professor Washington sighed. “I’m sorry, Ms. Schuyler. But if you don’t submit a synopsis, I will be forced to fail you. After all, the synopsis and storyboard are one half of your first semester final, and the completed film itself is one half of your second. I will be willing to extend the deadline by two weeks for you, but no more.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you so much.”

Peggy was eager to leave; if she stayed for too long, James would get upset. As soon as Professor Washington nodded, she shot almost bullet-like to her desk, putting on her winter coat and scooping up her backpack.

“Ms. Schuyler,” he called again as her hand was on the doorknob.

“Yes?”

“If you ever need my help, or anything from me, my office is always open. Please remember that.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Peggy left the classroom and entered the cool New York December air. The wind stung her cheeks, and she shivered even in the warmest of clothes, brown curls poking out from a pink beanie. She looked around, hand tight on her phone through her gloves, and as she did so, she thought about what the professor had said.

He was wrong. He was wrong, just like her other professors, just like her high school teachers, just like every single goddamn person who had claimed to be looking out for her best interests. Because offices that claimed to be open were almost never so.

Peggy recalled with bitterness her ninth grade year, sitting next to a boy named James Reynolds with bright eyes and a smile on his face. She had fallen in love almost instantly, as she gushed to sophomore Eliza and senior Angelica, and she would pay the world for him to notice her just as she noticed him every day.

Tenth grade. He asked her on a date, and they confessed their undying love over milkshakes at a nearby diner. Adults around them said it would fizzle away, that it was by far too early in their relationship to be talking about such things, but she didn’t care, and neither did he.

Eleventh. James continued to be successful, and he got so busy with schoolwork that he would begin to spend time away from her. He still loved her, though, Eliza confirmed. Eliza had had a boyfriend since seventh grade, so she knew about those things. Peggy had thought so, too, until she had found James in the supply closet making out with a crying girl with red lipstick.

The crying girl had looked at Peggy like she was holding a bloody knife. Peggy had looked between her and James, tears beginning to pool in her own eyes, and she had screamed at them and thrown punches and sworn that it was over. Over, that is, until midnight exactly, when James called her and called the crying girl a slut and sworn that she had forced herself on him, but he was too startled to say anything. And she, ever the fool in love, had taken him back without a word of protest.

Twelfth, the senior year, the most important one. James began to be more controlling than ever. One night, Peggy had gotten so drunk at a bar that she didn’t remember what had happened, and ever since then, he had started worrying about her. One wrong turn, one suspicious step, and he would scream at her, calling her names like slut and whore and telling her that she was lucky to be dating a guy like him. She had tried to leave him more than once during that year, but he would always call her late at night and promise never to do it again. Those weeks or so after she took him back were some of the most peaceful of her entire life.

She began leaving him more often, but he would always come back. She was terrified, _deathly_ terrified, of what he would do if he didn’t have her. He was driven, incredibly so, almost like a snake stalking its prey. So even though their relationship felt like shit, she stayed in it out of nothing but fear.

Peggy had tried going to her guidance counselors, as well as her teachers, who had told her, just like President Washington had, that their office doors were open. And none of them had believed her. After all, James was the poster child, the model student, the perfect, perfect boy who could do no wrong.

And now they were at Columbia together, along with Angie and Eliza and Eliza’s boyfriend. It was a wonder that he had even let her go to college.

“Peggy?”

And there he was. Peggy stuffed her phone in the back pocket of her jeans and looked around for him. He was standing on the sidewalk next to her, jacket nowhere near as impeccable as hers, as if he had put it on in a hurry.

“What took you so long?” he asked her.

“Professor Washington was asking me about my semester project. I haven’t had the time to work on it because I’ve been helping you with yours.”

“Meh, you can probably bullshit yours. It won’t matter. Animation doesn’t make as much money as business. I’ll provide for us both.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You know you can drop college, right? You’re wasting your time here. You don’t need it.”

“I need it to help you.”

“You can help me just as well at home. So how about you finish up the semester and quit? Women only go to college to get a man anyway. And you already have a man.”

 _I’m doing what I love,_ a younger Peggy would have protested. But older Peggy understood that he wouldn’t accept that answer.

“Maybe I will.”

“Your parents might get mad, but what do they know? They’re probably new-age feminists or some shit. Like your sister.”

“Mm-hmm. Do you need any more help with your project today?”

“I don’t know. Want to stop by that café for lunch?”

“Sure.”

Peggy and James almost always had lunch at the same coffee shop. They walked in hand-in-hand, and Peggy went to claim a table while James ordered. As she was sitting down and placing her bag, she heard an “Oh!” and realized that she had bumped into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she began to say, but something cut her short when she looked up into the someone’s eyes.

They were a beautiful chocolatey brown, placed in the middle of a picturesque face, on top of which was a bundle of curls hastily tied together. He wore a deep purple winter coat, gloveless hands by his sides, fiddling with nothing, as if he was the type of person who always needed to be moving. He was tall, much taller than her, but then again most people were.

“The fault is mine,” he said with a polite smile. “I was looking for my friends, and I didn’t see you.”

“Do you see them anywhere now?”

“Over there.”

He gestured with a hand, and Peggy turned around and saw Eliza’s boyfriend, Alex, along with two guys she recognized as his friends John and Hercules.

“One of your friends is my sister’s boyfriend,” she said to him. “But I don’t think I’ve met you. I’m Peggy. Peggy Schuyler.”

“You can call me Laf. Not like laughing. It’s short for Lafayette. And you haven’t met me because I moved here only a little while ago. From France.”

“You’re French?”

He did have that slight accent, now that Peggy thought about it.

“Yeah. I go to college there, but I decided to finish the second semester here. I finished all of my exams already.”

“Oh. That’s cool.”

“I guess so. Well, see you around?”

“I hope so.”

Peggy watched his retreating form with a smile on her face.

“Who was that guy?” a voice sounded from behind her. She turned around and realized that James had arrived. In one hand he held a bag with two croissants inside, and in the other he carried a tray with two lattes.

“He says he’s Alex’s friend. From France.”

“I saw you talking to him. You’re attracted to him, aren’t you?”

The truth was yes. He was almost like perfection in human form, and Peggy found it near impossible to resist him. The lie, which escaped her lips on a reflex, was “No.”

“Liar. I saw your eyes. I only ever saw you look like that in high school at me.”

“Well, so what if I am?” she burst out with sudden anger. “Attractions to other people are perfectly normal as long as you don’t act on them. And we have a healthy relationship, right? _Right?”_

“Peggy.”

She sat down, knees weakening from her outburst, and he pulled the chair next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Peggy. I don’t care that you’re attracted to people. I mean, it bothers me, of course, but I don’t want to let that influence us. The thing is, I’m worried about you. Remember how in our senior year you got blackout drunk? I don’t want that to happen to you. I’m worried about your future. I don’t want you to be in the middle of a scandal, or broke and forced to the streets, or anything like that. That’s why I want you to quit college. Because I’m worried about your future.”

“What about Laf, though?” she asked with a shaky voice. “I wasn’t flirting with him or anything. We were just making small talk. There’s no harm in that, is there?”

“Every relationship begins with small talk, Peggy. I don’t want him to seduce you or anything. So how about you stop talking to him until we know for sure that he’s not single?”

Peggy was tempted to scream again, to burst out in anger stronger than ever before, to scream to the entire coffee shop, the entire college, the entire _world_ that she didn’t care about his opinion. But he was here, and he was so soft, so gentle, so caring.

It might be annoying, but he was looking out for her future, after all. He _cared_ about her.

And as long as he did, she would care about him.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I won’t do that.”

“Good girl.”

They ate their croissants in silence. When a waitress showed up to collect their trays, she patted Peggy’s shoulder and slipped a note into her lap. While James handled the payment and tips, Peggy looked down and squinted to read the small writing.

 _Hey, are you all right?_ it read. _Abuse hotline number is 1-800-621-4673._

On her way out of the door, Peggy threw the note into the trash.

 

That night, James was going out with a couple of his friends. Peggy slipped her thermometer into hot water to make it seem like she had a fever, and as such, she managed to stay at home and work on her synopsis. Before she did, she logged onto Facebook and found Laf in Alex’s friends list.

His full name was so long that Peggy forgot it instantly, but his Facebook name was Gilbert du Motier, a shortened version of it. Lafayette was his mother’s maiden name, so he had adopted it as a nickname as a tribute to her. Laf’s cover photo was a selfie of him, John, Alex, and Hercules, and his profile pic was him on top of what looked to be the Eiffel Tower.

And what was important was that, according to his relationship information, he was single. So if Peggy was free, and if he was as attracted to her as she was to him, then she would have been able to date him.

But that was completely out of the question. Peggy put her laptop away, put on the R&B music that always helped her focus, and thought about what exactly she should write about.

James had told her that she should finish up the semester and then quit. So technically, she wouldn’t have to animate whatever she thought up, meaning, of course, that she could go wild. After a couple hours’ thought, she came up with a story about a girl who had come to beat a dragon and had fallen in love with him.

Was it cliché? Yes. Was her passion in it? No. Did it, in the end, in her perfectly laid out future, matter? Of course not.

Peggy wrote the synopsis and sketched out a passable storyboard in about an hour. That gave her time to order pizza and eat it while watching the next episode of her favorite show. Then, she browsed the Internet for a little while on her phone before finally drifting off to sleep.

 

The next day was December 9th, just two weeks before the grade input deadline, and Peggy presented Professor Washington with her project before walking back to her desk.

“Peggy, you have another two weeks,” the professor said, raising an eyebrow as he leafed through it. “Are you sure this is your best work?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Better than what you could accomplish with the extension I gave you?”

“About the same.”

“This’ll give you maybe a low C.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Peggy.”

Professor Washington placed the papers on his desk before looking at her with concern.

“I saw your animation portfolio when you first applied to this program. It was one of the best I’ve seen in my _life._ You’re better than…whatever this is. Why stop here? What happened?”

“Nothing happened. Maybe I’m aiming for a low C. Maybe that’s what I want.”

The professor looked as if there was something else that he wanted to say. Peggy’s lip quivered, threatening to burst out into sobs if she stayed there for even another second.

“Okay. Go back to your seat.”

The rest of the class was dedicated to a lesson in realistic animation of wind. Peggy took just enough notes to ward away concern.

Nobody could know about the truth of her and James. Nobody could know what happened behind closed doors.

In the middle of the class, Peggy’s phone buzzed, and she checked it behind her book.

_James: I’ll be out for the day with my family. See you tomorrow._

James had said before that his family was vacationing in Hawaii. He couldn’t fool her. She knew exactly what was happening.

_To: James: Gotcha._

Peggy didn’t know yet what she would do with her free time. But it probably wouldn’t be much.

 

Angelica and Eliza must have gotten the news already, because after class ended, both of them were outside the door waiting, Angelica wearing a green parka and Eliza dressed in a simple brown one.

“Hey, Pegs,” Angie said, patting her shoulder. “You wanna hang out with Alex and his friends? We haven’t got homework that’s due tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Peggy said. She smiled tightly in a way that revealed nothing as Eliza walked up to her other side. There was no way that she would ever tell anyone how excited she was to see Laf again.

The foursome was waiting by Alex’s car, freeing up space in the backseat, when the girls arrived. Laf greeted Peggy with a simple wave and a grin, and Peggy waved back.

“Okay,” said Alex once everyone was gathered, as usual taking the front in the situation. “Here’s the thing. I’ll be driving, and Eliza gets front-seat privileges. Rest of you disperse yourselves how you will.”

There were two seats in the middle of the car and three seats in the back, and John and Hercules stepped aside to allow the other three to go back. And then, Alex switched the gear into parking and began to drive.

Laf placed a hand on Peggy’s shoulder. “It’s lovely to see you again. Angelica tells me you’re an animation student?”

“I am. Last night I was finishing up my semester project. We have to make a synopsis and a storyboard for something we’ll animate in the second semester.”

Peggy didn’t tell any of them that she was going to be dropping out after grading was finished up. That was a difficult conversation to begin with anyone, especially the intellectual Angelica, who was sitting next to her and looking at her with interest.

“Sounds fascinating,” Laf said genuinely. “I’m going into politics. Maybe I’ll be the US ambassador to France.”

“Hmm.” Peggy nodded approvingly. “What are your classes like?”

Laf was about to launch into what seemed to be an impassioned spiel when Angelica announced, “Can we stop for a little while? I have to go to the bathroom.”

Alex sighed. “Why didn’t you go before we left?”

“I didn’t have to then.”

“Okay, fine. There’s a 7/11 right there. Be quick.”

“Peggy, do you have to go?”

Angelica grabbed her arm with a strange vigor, and Peggy understood that she needed to talk to her alone – what about, however, she didn’t know.

“Yeah, actually, now that I think about it.”

“Me, too,” said Eliza.

The girls disembarked, traveling as a group, and rushed into the bathroom stall, where Angelica grabbed Peggy’s shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

“Pegs, about a week ago you told me you were done with your animation project. Now you’re telling me that you were just finishing it up?”

Peggy’s eyes widened; she had just remembered how she had said that to ward off any suspicion about how it was coming along. Angelica, always the ardent feminist, would throw a fit if she found out that Peggy was ignoring her own studies to assist with James’s. And Peggy couldn’t have that.

“It’s fine that you lied to me. I don’t care about that right now. I just want to know _why._ ”

Still Peggy was silent, thinking of what to say, finding the right words for how to put her point. In that silence, Eliza burst in, soft brown eyes framed with lines of concern.

“Sunshine, is everything all right with James?”

Angelica paused for a second before nodding. “You don’t talk about him as much as you used to. You haven’t in a long time. Please. Tell me what’s on your mind. I’m your sister.”

Peggy clenched her fists by her side. “He’s making me drop college as soon as I finish up his semester. He doesn’t want me to waste money on what won’t bring me money anyway. When I told you that I finished my semester project already, it was actually because I was helping him with his. His studies are more important than mine anyway.”

Angelica was silent. Peggy watched the muscles in her neck tighten, lips pursing, like a storm building up on the horizon, like a vigilante angel instead of a traditional one.

“Peggy,” she said finally. “Remember how I always told you not to give yourself up for anyone? How you’re a strong, independent woman who shouldn’t take any shit from anyone?”

Peggy looked down at her feet, and Angelica squatted down to look her in the eye.

“That’s exactly what’s happening right now. James is making you into a supporting role instead of a human. Like…like the pedestal of a statue instead of the statue itself. And you shouldn’t let him. He’s not looking out for your best interests here. He’s being a controlling dick, and you should either talk to him about it or leave him.”

Still, Peggy was silent, this time looking at the hand dryer, at the flower graffiti circling it, anywhere but at her sisters.

“Peggy? Do you hear me?”

Complete, utter stillness.

Eliza couldn’t take it anymore. She took Peggy by the hand and led her away.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Angelica finally conceded. “We’ll talk about it later.”

 

Peggy texted James that she was on an outing with the usual group, and he approved; in such a huge company, nothing bad would happen. And of course, nothing did on the surface. The only tragedy, the only step to complete and utter destruction, that happened that evening was that Peggy found herself falling deeper and deeper in love with Laf.

He was not only beautiful but sweet, and his eyes always looked tender and sincere, no matter what he was saying. He was witty, just like Angelica, with a booming laugh that warmed the hearts of everyone around him.

And most of all, he was the type of person who was the epitome of freedom, who didn’t seem to care about anything unimportant. Surely if he had a girlfriend, then he would let her do what she wanted and wouldn’t try to police her future.

Not that James was policing Peggy’s future, of course. He was just looking out for her.

 

The weeks leading up to winter break passed by in a blur of finishing up makeup work and buying Christmas presents. It seemed like everyone wanted something different, that there was always a package on the doorstep having arrived from Amazon, that Peggy was buying things for the entire goddamn college and not for the couple of people of whom James approved.

And James started spending more and more time away. The few times that Peggy saw him, he gave her instructions for the next step of his project and left, looking rumpled and tired, even though he hadn’t done an inch of work that day.

He said it was nothing. But Peggy knew exactly what was going on, even if it she didn’t know the _who._

She didn’t care. His continued absence gave her more time with her sisters and friends.

On Christmas morning, James wasn’t there again. The excuse he used this time was that he wanted to spend the holidays with his family, and they had suddenly begun hating her, so they didn’t want her around. When Peggy, taking advantage of his situation, invited the whole group over to their apartment, James insisted on inviting a buddy of his, someone named Lee whom Peggy didn’t know.

“You’ve been spending too much time with your friends lately,” he said by way of explanation, “and not enough with me. That makes me nervous. Lee’ll watch out for you. Don’t you worry.”

“ _You_ haven’t been spending time with _me._ It seems you’re always away somewhere. When was the last time we had a normal dinner date like boyfriend and girlfriend? Or even spent the night together?”

James sighed. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is, Lee will make sure everything runs smoothly. I promise I’ll bring you something from home. All right?”

“All right,” Peggy said reluctantly. She was about to go back to her room and get her phone when James grabbed her arm with a ferocity.

_“Don’t you go pulling any funny business with that Lafayette kid. Or I swear to God, you’ll live to regret it.”_

“I won’t,” she said, voice trembling. “I won’t. I never would.”

“We’ll see about that.”

 

Christmas Day was the day that everyone always got excited about. But Peggy much preferred Christmas Eve, and the suspense that came with it, the warm, glowing feeling of brotherhood that she always got when she spent it with her friends and her family.

And so it was on that day that she welcomed her loved ones – and Lee – into the house with a bright smile, taking them to the dinner table and letting them take the chocolate chip cookies that she had baked for the occasion. Peggy’s usual Christmas playlist sounded in the background, and she smiled as she watched the gifts pile up under the makeshift tree that in reality was made entirely of paper. They would open them after dinner.

“Laf isn’t here,” Angelica noticed as the table was being set. “Do you guys know where he is?”

“He said he had some emergency that he had to attend to,” Alex explained, glancing over at the roast pork that Peggy was taking out and cutting up.

“He hasn’t answered any of our calls, though.” John looked genuinely concerned as he looked down at his phone.

“I’ll go after him.”

Peggy was surprised by her own boldness, and she was even more surprised by the fact that she said nothing contradicting it.

“No, Pegs, you don’t have to-” Hercules began, but Peggy continued.

“I’m worried about him. Knowing him, he’d never miss a Christmas Eve. Where did you say he was?”

“I didn’t,” Alex said. “But I think he went to the International Mall. Pretty sure he said something about it.”

“Gotcha.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Eliza began to say, but Lee cut her off.

“I’ll come with you. Make sure you don’t get in trouble or anything.”

“Why the fuck are you even here?” Angelica asked. “And for your information, Peggy won’t get in trouble. She’s a respectable citizen.”

“James had me come. To look after his girlfriend.”

Peggy nodded in confirmation. Angelica looked at her but said nothing. Then, just before she put on her winter coat and left the apartment, the eldest Schuyler walked up to her sister and hugged her tightly.

“Break up with James. He’s controlling you too much.”

But Peggy pushed her away and opened the door. On the way down the elevator, she glared at the shitty advertisement on the wall.

The duo walked through the doors of the International Mall side-by-side at first, but Peggy eventually took the lead and searched the stores where he would most be likely to come. It wasn’t until she finally gave up and left through the back entrance that she found him frantically wrapping a box.

“Hey,” she said as she walked up behind him, clapping him on the shoulder with a gloved hand.

“Peggy. I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I bought gifts for everyone. But I couldn’t find the perfect one for you until just now.”

“You didn’t have to get me a perfect one. You could have just…I don’t know. Maybe gotten a box of chocolates or something.”

Laf stuck a bow on the now-wrapped box and handed it to her with a smile and a shy glance down. Peggy shook her head and put it under her armpit.

“Let’s open it at the party. That’s what we always do.”

The man nodded reluctantly and looked over at Lee. “Is he at the party as well?”

“James sent him to look after me.”

Laf nodded. “I see.”

Curiosity overwhelmed Peggy; the box was somewhat heavy, and he looked as if it was a private gift. On the bus, when Laf and Peggy sat together and Lee sat alone directly behind them, she couldn’t resist the temptation to open it.

It was a drawing tablet and pen, both brand-new and a fairly recent model. Right on the packaging was a Christmas card, which Peggy ripped open with wariness on her face.

_Peggy,_

_Always keep pursuing your dreams._

_Happy holidays, Lafayette_

And in that moment, Peggy Schuyler realized three earth-shattering, groundbreaking truths.

Number one: Angelica had told him about her plans to drop out. What other explanation could there be for the new equipment and the talk about dreams, something neither of them had mentioned to each other before?

Number two: Peggy longed to get her hands on that equipment, to animate a scene, and for the first time in months, maybe even years, she got that creative spark that made her want to do something. The thought of asking for a receipt and giving it back was the exact opposite of appealing.

Number three: He knew that she was in love with him. And he felt the exact same way.

“Thank you,” she whispered, looking over at the gentle lines of his face, feeling the warmth of his big hand on her small one.

“The pleasure is mine.”

“Are you cold?”

She had just now realized that he wasn’t wearing the heavy winter coat that New York winters required, only a thin-looking sweater.

“We have hot chocolate back at my house,” she continued. “And roast pork. And a lot of other hot foods…”

Laf placed his head on hers and looked at the tablet. “I don’t think I need it just yet.”

The rest of the ride proceeded in silence. As they walked into the apartment, Peggy watched Lee pull out his phone and text someone.

 

The rest of the holidays proceeded fairly uneventfully. James was as absent as ever, and in his absence, Peggy knew that she ought to have been filling out the necessary forms to drop out of college. But somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Mostly, it was because of the brand-new tablet that she had gotten, though it continued to sit, unopened, on her desk. But it was also because of Angelica’s face, not angry but sad, whenever she asked her sister if she had done it.

She was in a sort of limbo, not dropping out of college but also not working on her second-semester project or telling James that she would stay, and the deadline by which she would be forced to make a decision was approaching terrifyingly quickly.

And James was still nowhere to be found. That is, until she was watching TV and heard the buzz of her phone by her side.

_James: I’m in New York. We need to talk._

He arrived at their apartment in an hour, face showing the lines of casual anger, as if even the smallest thing could tip him over the edge. Peggy led him to the living room and sat by his side on the bed.

“What happened on Christmas Eve?” he asked simply.

“I invited my friends over to the apartment. We ate dinner and exchanged presents. Just like usual.”

“Anything else?”

“Laf was at the store shopping for a gift. Lee and I found him and brought him back. That’s all. Lee can confirm.”

“Really? Is that so? Because Lee told me that Lafayette bought you a very expensive gift. Those are the signs of a serious relationship, isn’t that so? An expensive gift that you don’t even need.”

Peggy nodded. “He bought me a drawing tablet. But we’re _not_ dating.”

“You haven’t returned it yet.”

“It’s a very expensive gift, and I don’t have the-”

James stood up in a flash and slapped her, so sharply that she landed on the floor, hands jumping up instantly in self-defense.

“ _I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, YOU CHEATING WHORE! JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!”_

He stood over her like the Devil himself. Peggy could almost imagine a pitchfork in his hand.

“I want you to return that gift,” he hissed, “and stop talking to your little group. It’s obvious that you can’t even be trusted with them. Do that, or…”

James left the sentence unfinished, forcing the mind to complete it with horrifying possibilities, which Peggy’s mind did. But in a sudden instant, she decided that she wouldn’t be afraid of him anymore.

“No,” she whispered, words not sounding like her own.

He squatted down and leaned into her face, so close that she could smell his breath. “What was that?”

Peggy stood up, leaning a little to the side so she wouldn’t knock heads with him.

“I said, no.” The words were clearer, more confident, and even though they were said at a normal volume, they sounded to her like screams.

“I’m tired of bending to your will all the time. It feels like you make all the important decisions in our relationship. Like I’m your fucking _puppy_ instead of your girlfriend. And I’m sick of it. So _no,_ I’m not going to stop talking to my friends, and _no,_ I’m not going to drop out of college. You’re not going to make decisions for me anymore.”

 _Because I’m breaking up with you._ Those words wouldn’t come out for some reason.

James’s hand tightened into a fist, the other reaching for a vase filled with flowers. Flowers that his mistress had given him. Peggy knew what would happen before it did.

The vase shattered around her feet, soaking through her slippers, a couple of the shards landing in her skin. She would clean it up later. Now, she just needed to get out.

He kept throwing things, aiming not at any vital organs but instead at her legs. It was only after a couple of seconds that Peggy thought to run.

For the first time since Christmas Eve, she scooped up her drawing tablet. Then, she pulled on her shoes, grabbed her purse, and ran out of the house as fast as she could.

 

She was cold, _freezing_ cold, until she managed to run to a Starbucks near her house. She ordered a latte breathlessly and sipped it while sitting at a table and recovering.

Her phone was back at her house. Peggy shuddered when she thought about what James was probably doing to it. She would have to come back there later and rescue it.

Later, though. Not now. There was no way in hell that she was coming back there now.

Instead, she unpackaged the tablet and opened the portable drawing app, the one that didn’t need to be hooked up to a computer to work. It was a lot harder and more uncomfortable, but she needed to draw. She needed it more than she needed anything else.

Peggy tried at first to sketch the girl who had fallen in love with the dragon, hair blowing in the wind under her helmet. But somehow, along the way, she lost the motivation to even think about her.

Instead, she drew someone else. A girl with brown curls and brown skin and brown eyes, dressed in a flowy white dress. A bride with tears in her eyes. A bride with a chain around her ankle, connecting her to the hook above a roaring fireplace.

She was married to the fire, Peggy decided, against her will. She had loved him, but he hurt her every time she touched him, and the chain he had tied around her ankle kept her from escaping.

Peggy kept drawing, animating with more detail than she ever had in her life. By the end of the night, she had a new storyboard, and she had borrowed some paper from a barista to write up a new synopsis. She would go back home, go back to James, to type it up on her computer and submit it.

She took the bus home around midnight. On the way there, she drew for so long that she would have missed her bus if the woman next to her hadn’t tapped her shoulder.

When Peggy opened the door, the _I’m breaking up with you_ still refusing to come out of her, she saw James mopping up the mess that he had made. She was shocked – and horrified – to realize that tears, genuine tears, were pouring from his eyes.

She said his name, hand tightening around the tablet. “James.”

“Peggy.” He looked up and walked over to her.

“Peggy, I’m sorry for what I did last night,” he whispered, looking her directly in the eyes. “I’m so glad you found your way back to me. I realize now that we were both at fault.”

Peggy said nothing, instead wiping tears from her eyes with the back of one wrist. She smudged what little eyeshadow she had on, but she didn’t care.

“Come to the bathroom with me. I need to take out the glass shards in your legs. Otherwise they might get infected.”

Peggy could do nothing but nod, and then she was sitting in their bathtub and watching him work with tweezers and rubbing alcohol. There was so much to be said, but neither of them said it, and perhaps it was better that way.

“We were both out of line,” James said seriously. “I promise I won’t try to control you when it comes to your college. Finish up the year if you want. Fuck, finish up your _four_ years or however long you want to stay here. I’ll pay for it.”

“Thank you. Thank you so, so much. I promise I’ll still help you with your projects.”

“But I still worry about you, Peggy. Never forget that I worry about you. I’d just like to ask you not to spend time with your friends without me. I don’t want anything to happen.”

Already this was constricting. But James was being so kind, so soft, so unlike who he was just a couple hours ago, so she agreed.

He nodded. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. I just want to have a healthy relationship.”

Peggy went back to her room with bandaged legs, picked up her laptop, and typed up the new synopsis she had written. For a second, she considered not sending it.

But then she remembered how James threw things at her for no reason but his anger. She remembered how much he had controlled her, how even in his apology he constricted her, how angry she still was with him.

She had wanted to break up with him. Even while he was cleaning her wounds, she had wanted to break up with him. The only thing stopping her was the lump in her throat at the thought of living without him.

Peggy typed in Professor Washington’s email and sent the project without another thought.

 

Under James’s rules, Peggy could barely speak to or even text her sisters and friends. James constantly monitored her phone, excusing it over and over as simple worry, and though they had lengthy screaming matches, some of which involved throwing things as well, Peggy would always come back, even if she took some time away to relax. They would always come back to each other.

She kept animating her new project, of which her professor seemed to approve – he had, in fact, changed her low C to a high A. She imagined the girl with brown curls as the queen of earth, always wearing flowers in her hair, and on a night when the chains were tighter than before, she was swept away by the king of water. He was beautiful, impossibly so, with a bundle of curls on top of his head and a full-lipped smile.

In his domain, in the water, the king of fire could not reach her. She was safe. She was free, just as water flowed and could not be controlled.

The king of fire constricted and constrained her. But with the king of water, there was not even a mention of chains.

And the queen of earth loved to dance. Peggy spent many sleepless nights watching YouTube videos of dancers for references. Usually she would dance alone, but sometimes the king of water would take her into the ocean and dance with her.

It was the longest, hardest project she had ever worked on. But it wasn’t until around May, just two weeks before it was due, that Peggy realized that she didn’t know how she wanted it to end.

In the original storyboard, the queen of earth had stayed with the king of fire, always looking out of the window and longing to break free. But Professor Washington had always let them change their plots at any time.

On a sunny spring afternoon, Peggy was sitting in her room and thinking when she heard the ringing of the doorbell. She ran a quick hand through her messy hair, put a clean shirt over the one she had been wearing for two days straight, and stumbled, exhausted, to the door.

When she opened it, Angelica and Eliza stood there, accompanied by an awkward-looking Lafayette.

“Pegs, you look tired,” said Eliza worriedly.

Peggy laughed. “You can come back later. I’ve been working on my semester project, and I’ve kinda not been expecting you. I’m sorry.”

“No.”

Angelica stepped inside and took her youngest sister’s hands in both of hers.

“Peggy, why haven’t you been talking to us?”

“James doesn’t let me hang out with you unless he’s with us. And he usually doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Let you?” Angelica snapped, though the anger in her voice was aimed not at Peggy, but at James. “What right does he have to _let you_ do anything? He’s not your dad. He doesn’t own you.”

“He’s just worried about me. He doesn’t want me to do anything bad. He thinks that if I…I don’t know, cheat on him, then my reputation will be ruined. He doesn’t want that.”

“You’re a respectable citizen. I don’t think you’ve ever even _jaywalked._ You’re not going to ruin your reputation just because you got drunk _once_ in high school.” Eliza burst in now with uncharacteristic fury.”

“Think about it, Peggy,” Angelica said. “When was the last time you ever felt truly free with him? Like you genuinely enjoyed being in your relationship?”

There was silence after that. And in that silence, Peggy found her answer.

“I’ll do it when he comes home. I promise I’ll do it, Ange. I promise.”

Eliza stepped forward and hugged her rightly, and Angelica wrapped her long arms around the two and squeezed them to her chest. Peggy couldn’t remember the last time they had done that. She couldn’t remember the last time for a lot of things.

“Good luck, Peggy,” Laf whispered, bending down slightly. “Good luck.”

Peggy could do nothing but breathe heavily. At that moment, the door opened again.

James Reynolds had arrived.

“Oh, it’s so lovely to see you!” he said to the trio. “I wasn’t expecting you. Peggy, go fetch them some food or something.”

“Why don’t _you_ do it?” Angelica asked. “The poor girl’s tired. She’s been working on her semester project non-stop.

James glared at her. “Fuck off, you feminist bitch. I’ve been working all day.”

Peggy had been working up the courage to fulfill her promise. But in that moment, everything seemed to snap.

“Don’t call my sister a bitch,” she said, and this time, her voice didn’t quiver once.

James stepped toward her, shoving Eliza to the side. “I’ll call her whatever I want to call her.”

“No, you won’t. And you won’t hurt Eliza, either.”

“Oh, yeah? How are you going to stop me?”

“We’re breaking up. I’m giving you half an hour to get your things and get out of my house.”

“It’s _my_ house,” James snapped.

“Oh, really? Then who pays rent? Who bothers to keep track of taxes and repairs and stuff? And who just sits on his lazy ass all day and expects his girlfriend to cater to his needs? Get out of my house, or I swear to fucking God, I’m calling the police. I’m going to report you for domestic violence, just as I should have _months_ ago.”

James hissed softly, like a snake lying in wait. But Peggy wasn’t going to be afraid of him ever again.

Then, he huffed and went to his room. Peggy heard him packing this things.

Angelica and Eliza walked up to her and squeezed each of her hands tightly. Meanwhile, Peggy herself kept staring ahead in disbelief.

She had _done_ it. After years of hesitating, years of hurt, years of the worst relationship she had even been in, she had _done_ it. Finally, she would be free. Finally, everything would be okay.

“I did it, Laf,” she whispered when he approached her, still looking as if he didn’t belong.

He nodded and patted her shoulder, looking as if he had something to say but not saying it. Then, as a group, they walked into the living room and watched James leave.

Peggy had been expecting empty threats, bracing herself for insults and hatred and everything she had experienced over the course of their relationship. But it seemed as if she had finally broken his armor. He was completely, entirely silent, to the point where it was almost scary. Almost.

“I have to finish working on my senior project now,” she said. “But you can watch me.”

Finally, finally, she knew how it would end.

“Can we see how it is now?” Laf asked.

Peggy nodded. “I just need to finish up the ending. I’ve looked over the rest of it so much that my eyes hurt.”

She pulled it up on her laptop and showed them, in the meantime visualizing the final scene in her head. While her sisters stared enraptured, not seeing anything but the animation, Laf’s eyebrows furrowed deeper and deeper with every motion. By the end of it, he looked over at Peggy and smiled.

“How does it end?” he asked her.

“I’ll show you when it’s finished. I promise.”

Peggy worked for hours, not seeing anything but the tablet and her pen and her exhaustion, and if her sisters had not eventually brought her food, she would probably have collapsed. It was a full day, probably even a little bit more, when she finally showed them the scene. It hadn’t been colored yet, but she could do that later. She deserved a break.

The queen of earth had returned to the place she reluctantly called home. She had pulled her chain deep into the king of fire’s mouth, taunting him, and in his rage, he had melted the metal and set her free. And she had pulled deep inside of her, tapping into every power she knew, and she had destroyed him forever.

The king of water had not come for her then. _She_ had come to _him._ Because even though she had always been told otherwise, she could do anything she wanted to.

“I have to sleep now,” she mumbled through a yawn, placing a tired hand over her mouth. “My eyes are pretty much squeezing shut on their own. G’night.”

“Good afternoon, actually,” Eliza laughed. “See you later.”

Angelica smiled softly. “Good afternoon. Let us know when you get up.”

Peggy was about to retreat back to her room before Laf called out her name, and she turned around to face him.

He walked up to her, more flustered than she had ever seen him, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Your movie,” he said simply. “Was it about…?”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

His mouth opened, but no sound came out. She knew that there was nothing left to say, so she nodded.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” she asked. “Maybe at a café or something?”

“Of course.”

He raised a hand in farewell, and she raised one in return.

“Good afternoon.”


End file.
